Husband Unsatisfied with life has question?

my wife and i have been married for about 8 years now, i am 28 and she is too. when we were 1st married we had alot. time has ped, and 4 kids later, i would say we have 1-2 times a month. quite frankly it is not enough for me. i have attempted to make her understand my point of view but it seems everything i say leaves her with the impression that: "i am just a selfish jerk and i just want to DO her." i LOVE my wife and i love to have with her that is true, but i am not a "wham bam thank-you maam" kind of guy she seems to treat me like. she is fond of cuddling and i am too but to a lesser degree, i feel that is important and honestly it makes me feel loved. we both have let ourselves go a bit but she has told me that looks arent important to her and i have proved that they are not important to me. should i just give up on this and just be grateful for whenever she feels like it? i feel like such a jack trying to initiate and being rejected constantly.